Thursday, February 28, 2013

Making Mead

Summary of a first draft of a rejected script.

Picture dull plain suburbia. Our hero is a middle-aged history teacher Rob with an apathetic facebook games-addicted wife and a slacker son. We learn that they will soon adopt a dog from the pound for his son. One day he is hanging out with his brother-in-law, a security guard, when he witnesses a robbery of a liquor store. While one of the perpetrators is caught, the other gets away with a case of mead. Rob recognizes the other robber as his ex-student Terry, but does not identify him to the police, as he is intrigued by the concept of liquor store robbers stealing mead.

The following day we see Rob having what seems like a heart attack. When an ambulance arrives, the paramedics inform Rob that his heart attack was really a bad heartburn and that he is otherwise in fine health. Shaken by the experience, and with a knowledge that he only has between thirty and forty years to live, during which time he has to somehow provide for his wife, his son and their future dog, he resolves that he needs to somehow supplement his teacher salary.

Tracking down Terry, Rob offers him a deal. Before he became a history teacher, Rob was a brilliant historian who wrote his PhD in the history of brewing in medieval Scandinavia. He explains to Terry that the mead sold in stores is subpar and cannot compare to the properly brewed traditional mead. Using Rob's superior knowledge, and Terry's ability to procure ingredients [errrrr, figure out how and why later. Not important at this point], the two set up a home brewery in Terry's garage, because Rob's garage is too full and his wife doesn't approve of his brewing experiments. Together the two go into the underground home brewery business.

Notes scribbled in the margin in author's hand:
So like, that's the pilot, right? L8r the two will provide mead to dangerous neo-Viking pagan bikers, make dangerous deals with the local white trash bootlegger gang, and take out the rival moonshiners using Rob's history knowledge. Think of something historical. Thirty Year War or some crap like that. Rob's marriage goes downhill as he tries to keep his mead brewing from his wife, but she doesn't care cuz Farmville. Have the brother-in-law try to like track down the illegal brewers or something.

Notes scribbled in a different, more forceful hand:
Script is crap but has potential. Like the teacher angle, but history?! Chemistry is edgier. Go with chemistry.

P.S. Moral of the story: chemistry teachers are more interesting than history teachers!