Monday, February 25, 2013

Pfffffffffft Mondays

To paraphrase W. G. Sebold: "Teachers and students regard each other across a gulf of mutual incomprehension." The teachers kind of remember what it was like to be a student, but can't believe they ever had this much energy or DRAMA!!! themselves. The students get a first dreadful inkling of what life is like after school. If you think about it, for most (maybe even all?) students, the teacher is greatest adult presence in their life outside of parents or guardians. Parents are parents, you don't pick them usually, and you're pretty used to their lives. So the outside adult world is in significant part influenced by the perception of the teacher, before a student gets a job of his/her own. However, I am constantly surprised by just how many misconceptions students have about a teacher's life, or what a teaching job is actually like. So here is my helpful guide to a teacher's life put into a perspective a student can understand - a student's perspective. Without further ado:

A teacher:
- Does homework every day. For every subject. Usually before, during, and after school.
- Does other people's homework too most of the time (that's marking for you the unitiated!)
- Has cliques of his/her own. Yeah, we too have personal and sometimes irrational likes and dislikes and we too gossip in the cafeteria and the library!
- Looks forward to every long weekend, holiday and vacation.
- Manages to get by on the tests with a combination of luck, last-minute "OH SHIT I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES UNTIL CLASS" panic, and half-remembered snippets from a textbook.
- Does a presentation every day. Usually for every subject. Yes, sometimes we too stammer, not maintain proper posture, have to look at our notes and avoid eye contact.
- Usually hates gym. Unless s/he is a jock. Most of us still has that secret mounting horror when we enter gym. It's like ingrained in us or something.
- Has people that get mad and him/her when his/her homework and assignments are not done. Except in our case grades = job.
- Gets an urge to check his/her facebook, cellphone, text messages and email every 15 seconds. More often if there's DRAMA!!! or Farmville involved (substitute your own brand of poison for Farmville, be it sports, celebrity gossip, recipes, IKEA or DRAMA!!!).
- Has mixed feelings about the other student body (except in this metaphor the student body is literally the student body). Yeah, guess what, we too can't stand the loudmouth in the back of the class, the know-it-all in the front, and we too can be creeped out by that one kid who does that thing with his nose and the pencils and a reindeer...
- Gets detention as well. Typically if we give detention to others. Or if we didn't do our homework on time and now we have to cram it. Or if we have clubs or gym. Yeah, leaving school late sucks.
- Has mornings when s/he wakes up and thinks up of different ways to fake a stomach flu, or high temperature or whatnot.
- Has obnoxious demanding parents to deal with. Only in our case the obnoxious demanding parents are your parents! >^_^<