Vivaldi - the original headbanger

In the fine tradition of Chuck Norris jokes, here comes Vivaldi - the original pimp and headbanger of classical music! Top 10 fun facts about Vivaldi! (see note #1)

1. Vivaldi was the original headbanger. Listen to "La Follia" at 6:30 and 7:30 marks. Vivaldi was the Dragonforce of 18th century music scene.

2. Vivaldi was called the Red Priest. That's because he bathed in the blood of the lesser composers he had slain and absorbed their power.

3. Vivaldi became a priest because he ran out of women to screw.

4. Vivaldi was so physically hardcore half the population of Vienna was destroyed by spontaneous orgasm when he got there. They had to import women from the hottest capitals of Europe to replace the lost female population and sate Vivaldi's appetites.

5. When Vivaldi died, monks gathered his belongings. They then scoured the Earth for his reincarnation, letting little children play with some random crap mixed in with one item belonging to Vivaldi. Only a little boy in Salzburg unerringly picked up Vivaldi's violin and immediately started headbanging.
AND HIS NAME WAS MOZART, BITCHES!

6. Bach gave all seven of his children Vivaldi as a middle name. That's how jealous he was.

7. "Four Seasons" is a misnomer. Because there is only one season. VIVALDI SEASON. (Thanks to Stefan for this one)

8. Vivaldi invented the electric mandolin 250 years earlier than everyone else thought possible; it's the only way he could take his music to the next level. It was powered by the power of his sheer will!

9. Recent re-discoveries of Vivaldi's work have finally been performed. It's called Bohemian Rhapsody.

10. Only Vivaldi could write a choir piece for an all-female choir with bass and tenor parts. FOR WOMEN. When people told Vivaldi it couldn't be done - he did it! He then impaled the unbelievers as a warning to the future generations not to doubt the power of Vivaldi!


Note #1: facts may not be facts at all

The power of storytelling... to kick ass!

Ran a Wushu game the other night. It was impromptu and very spontaneous, so in other words - perfect conditions to run such a game. I let the players pretty much go wild and do what they want (I did have to veto a telepathic schoolgirl geisha character though - ick!). The theme was Space Pirates and after explaining to the players loosely how character creation worked they got to it. In the end I got:

A Chaos Space Marine (this guy)

Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction (only with an even bigger afro)

Cyborg Cyclops (the X-Men kind, not Homer's Odyssey kind)

Pink Power Ranger (the wussy one with the bow)

And a Robot Butler Bob Marley.

They fought Royal Martian Navy marines, psychic ninjas, survived a freefall from orbit to the surface of Europa and would've ended up on board the Event Horizon where they would've fought Cthulhu (pictured below). In other words - shit was so cash!

What I learned from Teachers' College and my practicums

From Teachers' College:
- Busywork is the cornerstone of education. If you need to keep the students in the classroom for four hours because the regulations say so, giving them useless busy work is essential.
- Reflective exercises and assignments are a life-saver when you don't really have anything to talk about/assign.
- It is possible to reflect on a reflection assignment. No, there is no irony or circle-jerking tautology in this.
- While the student teachers might get outraged at the notion that teachers are not allowed to fail students anymore, they will not blink an eye at the mutual understanding that all student teachers will receive As and will graduate Teachers' College. (unless they fuck up their practicums)
- If there is absolutely no filler left (not even reflection), put on some YouTube video somehow related to education and talk about that.
- While student teachers are required to affirm that they're in the profession because they like to teach/they want to give back to the community/they want to be inspirational figures, it is understood by everyone that the vast majority are in it for the salary and the benefits.
- A corollary to the point immediately above: a student teacher should never ever admit that she/he went to Teachers' College because she/he didn't have any other options after receiving a bachelor or master's.
- You will remember why you've hated groupwork back in high school.
- You will learn that the saying "those who can't, teach" has many additional layers of meaning in Teachers' College.
- The best instructors in Teachers' College are the ones who are the most cynical about the profession.

So as not to leave on an entirely gloomy note, here's what I learned about teaching, myself, and children from my practicums:
- The first time you walk to the board and start a lesson you will feel sick.
- They (the students) can see, hear, and smell fear.
- You might feel like a fraud in front of the board, but as long as you wear a shirt and tie (skirt and blouse, etc.) and don't show fear they will take you seriously.
- Learn their names ASAP (at least first names, preferably last names) - it will be your greatest weapon.
- There are two things that students love, from age 12 to age 18: a good story, and candy. NEVER underestimate the motivating power of candy.
- Develop a sense of humour. Learn to laugh at yourself first and foremost, learn that it's ok to poke fun at your students from time to time as well. Figure out who the class joker is and use him/her to best advantage!
- Another powerful weapon in the teacher's arsenal is the seating plan. Even the merest threat of moving the students around is enough to shush them up for a lesson.
- Group work is heaven-sent for teachers! Even if nothing productive comes out of it, you still managed to waste a whole class.
- Be prepared to change your plan for the day on the spot. Maybe it'll take the whole lesson to cover what you thought should take only 5 minutes. Maybe there's an assembly that you completely forgot about. Maybe someone was sick in the class. Maybe you forgot about some religious holiday and now half the class is absent.
- Learn to talk loudly without shouting. Learn when to talk, and when to shut up.
- Learn to respect your students. They might be functionally illiterate, flighty, surly, opinionated, easily distracted, dense, slow, and a host of other things, but they're still people, and they still have potential and self-worth. Plus it will make your job easier too!