Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Unknown Armies


I love this game. I'd gladly talk about it more later on, but for now, here are some bizarre rumours (that I made up) in the spirit of Unknown Armies:



All human history prior to and including the 80s is false. That's why no one can quite remember the 80s, all anyone can remember is 80s movies disguised as simulated memory. Seriously, does anyone believe that we went around in leg warmers, that wearing mullets was hot, that a Flock of Seagulls was music, and that Kevi...n Bacon was a real movie star? So the question is, who wants us to believe that 80s were real...?



The Canadian Department of Defense's sub-department of musical instruments is still locked in a struggle to the death with the Third Reich due to a bureaucratic oversight. I almost laughed, then I noticed the allocated budget. And what would the Department of Defense be doing with the Trumpets of Jericho anyways? I think they know something we don't...



There is an old man who lives beneath the Laurier street bridge in downtown. Just before dawn and dusk he turns a largy rusty wheel, and then the sun rises or sets. I hear he's got a serious heart condition, and it's only a matter of time now. I wonder what'll happen to the sun if no one takes over from him...



Cats are latent psychic users. Get enough of them together and you can use their combined power to screw around with reality. Crazy Cat Ladies know that - they use their cats to breach the walls to other worlds all the time. That's why they don't take good care of themselves. Why bother? They got whole wonderful worlds... of adventure and romance on the other side! They stay away from Ulthar though, I wonder why...



Do you know why building new roads leads to an increase in traffic? Because about 1 in 5 automobiles is not real - the roads themselves somehow make those appear. Why? So that we'll build more roads to handle the increased traffic. But what's the roads' ultimate agenda...?



Every horoscope is real. For someone. Somewhere. Some-when. Just not for you.



Do you remember your imaginary friend? No? Well he remembers you. Since you've forgotten him, he's been out on the streets, trying to eke out a living, which isn't easy when you don't technically exist. Most nights, he just sits in an alley and gets drunk with other forgotten imaginary friends, remembering when he was happy. When he had someone who believed in him. He wants those days to be back real bad. Bad enough to do something drastic...




Currently playing: Lacuna Coil "Karmacode" album.